[Mickey Milkovich]

Top: Shows several symptoms of having been through abuse

Bottom: Can’t remember when/who/how you got them

can’t remember most of childhood? check. intense fear of making mistakes? check. low self-esteem and overall feeling of incompetence? check. ashamed of strong emotions and unable to cry? check. afraid of doing anything that might anger parents? check… and yet i can’t say why i’m like this because i don’t even know. did my mom overstep her bounds when she was angry, or am i too sensitive? was she emotionally distant, or was i too secretive? was i ever bullied? did i have bad friendships? bad teachers? i don’t know whether i have repressed memories or if i could have simply inflated tiny incidents in my head and done this to myself. i feel like there has to be something that happened that makes me act and feel the way i do, but my parents care about and want what’s best for me and i can’t remember anything they’ve done in my past that would undoubtedly be abuse… sometimes, i don’t feel like i should be calling myself a “survivor" if i can’t even pinpoint what i survived.

@темы: реал

Comments

[Hokori]

Извиняюсь за русский ^^

Дети очень чувствительны. Взрослые думают, что прекрасно скрыли свои чувства, что ребенок ничего не заметил, а это не так. Плюс могут быть вытесненные воспоминания. И мне кажется, правильнее верить своим чувствам, а не чужим словам или даже воспоминаниям. Потому что, ты же это чувствуешь, значит это есть.

[laidah]

Hokori,

Взрослые думают, что прекрасно скрыли свои чувства

а чаще всего и не скрывают

Techno C@t,

but my parents care about and want what’s best for me

It's not always best for you, but most of the time it's best for they. Rules like "be quit, be patient, be modest" are best for the parents. May be it was good for victorian girls in 19 century but not now. It was the way to spend less time with child and have less problems with teachers and relatives. "Just sit here and be quet!"
I do love my parents. But I definetly know that they in some way killed my personality and my confidence. From the earliest years I remember one feeling that followed me - fear. It's not matter that you do or do not your words means nothing cos only they have the rule to judge and to punish.

[Dylan Dace]

Hokori, вся соль как раз в том, что вытесненные воспоминания - это истинная причина того, почему мы чувствуем вину там, где не должны. У нас не хватает аргументации чтобы отстоять свою позицию, обосновать, даже если с эмоциональной точки зрения это - правильно. Фактически, мы сами себя упаковываем в саквояж, ключи к которому есть у кого угодно, кроме нас самих.

laidah, this is the way world (two times wrote WARld, sure it means a LOT) goes, more obedience less freedom and free will(((